I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome at age 40. How do I feel about being on the autism spectrum? Well, I’ve been hesitant about labelling myself autistic: compared to what low-functioning autistics deal with, my problems look pretty small. Like Popeye the Sailor, I yam what I yam.
But I saw a TV show on Youtube that made me rethink my identity. It was an episode of Longstreet, a 1971 series with James Franciscus as a blind detective. (It requires some suspension of disbelief.) It’s unusually mature for its time: the stories are about his personal development as much as the cases he cracks. Despite his handicap, Longstreet still strives to be a super-achiever: he even hires Bruce Lee to teach him martial arts! He lost his sight to a bomb that killed his wife, so there’s also an element of survivor’s guilt.
In the episode I’m referring to, Longstreet goes undercover to investigate cases of sabotage in a factory. The factory has a work program for handicapped people, which provides him with entry. But as his investigation continues, he has trouble getting friendly with the other handicapped people. Part of it is being distracted by his case, but he comes to realize that he’s still in a measure of denial about being handicapped!
He finally figures out who’s behind the sabotage, and at the end of the episode, when he says goodbye to the other people in the program, he says, “We handicapped people have to look out for each other!” For him that’s a step forward.
There was something similar in the movie The Men, with Marlon Brando as a paralyzed soldier. At the end of the movie, when his wife brings him home, he finally lets her push his wheelchair!
How does this apply to me? I was thinking that maybe I’ve been in denial about being autistic. Maybe I should be saying, “We autistics have to look out for each other.” Time will tell.
