Playing cards

Did you know that all four queens in a deck of cards are portraits of Elizabeth of York, the niece of Richard III who married Henry VII and ended the Wars of the Roses? (Cards have changed very little over 500 years because gamblers are a superstitious lot.) And did you know that the name "bridge" comes from the Russian word for auction?

Some years back I went on a cruise from New York to Montreal.  One of their many activities was bridge.  One afternoon I decided to try it.  I would have been happy in the beginners group, but they already had a full four so I got put in the more experienced group, not that I cared.

There were a man and a woman supervising the games, which in this case meant that they seemed to be spending all their time with the beginners.  But why should I care?

I wasn't that good at the game compared to the others, who were a bit old and tactless.  Anyhow, we were playing one game and I bid two diamonds, then my partner bid two hearts.  When it was my turn to bid again, I passed.  Suddenly the female supervisor said, "You can't do that!" Well, it wasn't like I'd bidden seven no-trump in the first round...

Then the male supervisor took an interest in our game.  I was the dummy, so I laid out my cards for all to see.  If he'd said, "Want to know what I would have done?" I'd have answered, "Sure, tell me." But he simply launched into his advice, saying, "I would have bid clubs." 

I got annoyed and said, "Did I ask for your advice?"  Now that got him mad!  He went on about how this was a supervised game and they were supposed to advise us.  But what bothered me was the impression that they were getting involved just to criticize me.  Bridge experts are dicks!