When I was a schoolboy they once showed us a classroom film called Holiday From Rules. (You can find it on Youtube.) It's about a group of kids who are sick of rules, so they get put on a desert island without rules, resulting in anarchy and the kids learning the value of rules. Micromanagement vs. anarchy seems a false choice to me.
In my family I don't recall that we had that many explicit rules, but do remember there was a rule against reading at the dinner table. When Jimmy Carter got elected president, I was surprised to learn that in his family it was allowed! (Someone said, "If Amy Carter reads at the table, she should try reading Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt.")
Personally, I respect people who are clear about the rules they're insisting on right from the start. What I don't like is people who hope you'll be going by their rules without being told of them, so you only find out what the rules are when you've broken them.
Of course, sometimes people make rules just for the sake of making rules! I read somewhere that in the 1950 the United States Marine Corps decided that grunts should all eat with one hand. I fail to see how they're a stronger force with that rule then they'd be without it. (The 1950s was the golden age of micromanagement.)
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